Teens & Technology: How do we ensure our kids are safe online
Teen suicides related to social media and technology are rapidly increasing.
It’s been shown that teen girls who engage frequently with social media have lower self esteem.
Technology is prevalent everywhere; it’s how most of us complete work and stay in touch with friends. And it’s also wreaking havoc on everyone—not only our kids, but us too.
It has been reported that 74% of people feel uneasy leaving their phone at home, and 70% of people check their phone within 5 minutes of receiving a notification. Phone and social media addiction is not only a teen issue but also an issue that plagues most of the world these days. We are all becoming addicted to our phones and computers.
How do we keep our teens and children safe when technology is dominating the world and consequently our lives?
Reading articles about phishing, teen suicide, and child kidnapping all related to social media use can make us terrified as parents. Terrified to the extent that we don’t want any technology to exist and maybe we’ve even considered moving to an Amish community.
Our minds tend to jump to black and white solutions when we hear about a social media related teen suicide—or life threatening consequence of technology—locally or in the greater community. We automatically think, we need to get rid of all technology or maybe we feel like there is no way to control it so we just ignore it. Our minds start computing the time and effort we need to put into monitoring our teen’s technology use to do it well and “right.” Just the thought is exhausting. What is missing from these approaches to safe technology use is how we as parents can empower our children and teens to use technology safely, releasing the need to be a helicopter parent or constantly worry about their well being while they are online.
Teaching and empowering our children is a necessary and realistic approach to solving what feels like a major, life-threatening problem that feels unsolvable.
5 steps to educate and inform our children on how to use technology safely:
Observe. Observing our own habits when it comes to technology or social media is a great place to start. Take stock of what is manifesting in our own life. What technology use is working for us and what isn’t? Do we ever check our phones subconsciously?
Have conversations. Talking with our children and teens about observing their own technology usage is huge. A conversation can go a long way in acknowledging present-day struggles. It also helps us connect to our teens’ usage and how it may differ from our own.
Discuss what is happening at large and locally. Talking to your children and teens about what is happening with social media—from addiction to low self esteem to suicide to online bullying. Though these conversations feel heavy, they are important to have. Your teen may even have their own opinion about what they are seeing and experiencing. Back in the day, there used to be a fear about being lured into a strangers’ car. Now, that fear is about landing in the wrong person’s direct messages online. When we talk about what is happening with our children, they are more aware of their own experience and how they can avoid it.
Co-create. When we discuss possible pitfalls of technology with our kids, we can then start to co-create how we want to use technology. We can create a vision about what successful technology use looks like and what it doesn’t look like—for both them and us. For example, successful technology may not look like using phones at the dinner table. Co-create what you both want reality to look like. We can identify habits we don’t want to fall into—staying up all night on our phones—and habits we do want to fall into like noticing when we need to turn our phones and computers off and go outside. Co-creating a new normal with our children helps us and them identify where we are going wrong and what normal technology use looks like for us as individuals and a family.
Check in. Check in occasionally with your children and teens to see how they are doing with everyday stressors that technology poses. Let them know they aren’t alone and that they have you as as support whenever they need it.
Technology these days can be all consuming, but it doesn’t have to be. Technology is not going away anytime soon so we have to learn how to live with it and live with it healthily. We have to teach our children and teens to be a part of the change. We have to empower them to reconsider their current use and envision how they want to be using technology in their lives. If your teen isn’t able to open up with you about their technology use, reaching out to a professional therapist is a great way to encourage healthy conversations about technology. Connect with our team of therapists today who specialize in therapy for teens.