How to survive the holidays

The holidays can be a fun, joyful time of the year.

But holidays aren't always full of ease. Many times it can be a reminder of who isn't sitting around the table this year, or it can become a time when family anxieties and conflicts flourish. It doesn't have to be that way though. Sometimes simply being aware of what the holidays bring with them can help you navigate the holiday season on your own terms.

Let’s break it down.

There’s a part of our brain called the limbic system. It’s responsible for our behavioral and emotional responses. It takes care of feeding, reproduction, caring for our children, and controls our fight or flight responses when we are stressed or overwhelmed.

The limbic system is sensitive to threats, no matter if those threats are real or just in our head. If we are simply stressing about the number of grocery store trips we need to make or are worried about the argument that might happen when our family arrives, we can send our limbic system into a fight or flight response.

When it comes to stress, not all stress is bad. Having a little amount of stress in our lives is actually beneficial for us, but when the stress becomes too much, our body moves into distress. That’s when we need to make changes. When you start feeling out of control of yourself and your emotions, this is a sign you are teetering on the edge of distress.

When the holiday starts feeling overwhelming, keep this in mind:

You don’t have to do everything alone

  1. Engage your family and/or partner

    1. Delegate

    2. Ask for help

Planning helps the day flow easier

  1. Make a list, and delegate!

  2. Grocery shop early

    1. Google Shopping List

    2. Delivery Services

    3. Divide and conquer

Know your boundaries ahead of time so you know when and who to say “no” to

  1. If it’s not a yes, it’s a no

    1. Tune in to your body signals. If it’s a NO, do you feel it somewhere in your body? If it’s not a Yes, is it a NO?

  2. Create a boundary Shield

    1. You get to choose who has the most access to you, your time, and personal space. You can choose how close each person gets to you. Imagine there are circles that surround you, much like the way planets rotate around the sun. You are the sun and you get to choose which planets (people) rotate close to you and which rotate the furthest from you.

    2. You get to decide who goes where and on which rings.

    3. Who do you tend to allow in the closer rings and why? Who gets too close to you and doesn’t need to be there? Who is close that you need to move further away from you?

Holidays don’t have to break the bank

  1. Know your budget, stick to it. Don’t try to keep up with the Joneses.

  2. Follow @InspiredBudget on IG

Prepare for family interactions and know when it’s time for you to leave

  1. Know your triggers

  2. Triggers can be some o the following topics:

    1. Food Stuff/Body Talk

    2. Sarcasm/Cutting Comments & Questions

    3. Substance Use/Addiction

    4. And more…

Have a safety plan

  1. Have an escape plan and a way where you can find your peace when you do get triggered.

  2. Beef up self-care, rest, intentional time for yourself over this time—put money in your emotional savings account that you can withdraw later.

    Finally, remember to stay in the JOY of the season. Allow room for the rest as it comes. Holidays aren’t always perfect, joyful moments, but when we prepare for them, we can make the best out of them in the moment.

Jessica Haskell